there is no point to this.
Jan. 27th, 2006 09:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ff00ffSometimes people ask you what you would do with a million dollars. I don’t like that question because it’s meant to illicit a response assuming you would be careless with the money. Pretty much everyone answers that they would invest it to turn it into more money or live off the interest or whatever, when what the asker really wants to know is what your plans are in life. I have three such disingenuous answers, even though first and foremost I would like to use that money to never have to do anything resembling work again.
First! I would rent out office space and hire a staff. We would have meetings and develop paperwork and invent things for them to do to look busy. The goal would be to get them to create a realistic office environment while I lord over them. They wouldn’t have to be busy, just look busy. This makes it superior to real jobs where there is high pressure for performance and that is why these young professionals would go along with my scheme. Staff meetings would take place every Monday morning, where we would all have to seriously consider whatever presentations and proposals I or the management team threw together. These presentations would uniformly be pornographic images projected gigantic on one of the meeting room’s walls. Everyone would have to be very serious and take notes and give their impressions afterward, and answer questions like “What do you make of it?” Employee evaluations would be based on juvenile games like bobbing for apples, perhaps wet t-shirt contests. The point of this would largely be to be a power trip for myself. My staff would have it good though, I only want them to look busy. They can be doing whatever the hell they want. We have no real business, but we would all be in business attire and have placards on our desks or cubicles and carry around cards with our titles and contact info on them. I could inject any bit of weirdness into my little faux office whenever I wanted. My secretary may or may not be a prostitute. Local schools would be invited to make field trips out to see us so they could be educated about the office environment. During these trips a blacksmith’s stall will be set up just so we can compete with those colonial theme parks.
Secondly, I would launch a real internet business. TalkOverMovies.com would require more than a million dollars, but so would the other thing. People would come to this website, they would log in, pick from a list of popular movies, enter a chat room where a stream of said movie is in progress or about to start, and talk via microphone to other people in the same chat room. That would be the goal and purpose of TalkOverMovies.com No one likes people who talk during a movie in the theater, but at home its great, its what you expect to do. But you can’t always do that because some of us are reclusive internet freaks and have no friends to watch a real movie with. TalkOverMovies.com would fill these peoples lives with sarcastic remarks and other nattering about movies.
Thirdly… the third one is a secret. Secret thing to do with a million dollars. I would probably even have some money left over though.
These are my faux interesting, and probably disingenuous explanations of what I would do with a million dollars.
First! I would rent out office space and hire a staff. We would have meetings and develop paperwork and invent things for them to do to look busy. The goal would be to get them to create a realistic office environment while I lord over them. They wouldn’t have to be busy, just look busy. This makes it superior to real jobs where there is high pressure for performance and that is why these young professionals would go along with my scheme. Staff meetings would take place every Monday morning, where we would all have to seriously consider whatever presentations and proposals I or the management team threw together. These presentations would uniformly be pornographic images projected gigantic on one of the meeting room’s walls. Everyone would have to be very serious and take notes and give their impressions afterward, and answer questions like “What do you make of it?” Employee evaluations would be based on juvenile games like bobbing for apples, perhaps wet t-shirt contests. The point of this would largely be to be a power trip for myself. My staff would have it good though, I only want them to look busy. They can be doing whatever the hell they want. We have no real business, but we would all be in business attire and have placards on our desks or cubicles and carry around cards with our titles and contact info on them. I could inject any bit of weirdness into my little faux office whenever I wanted. My secretary may or may not be a prostitute. Local schools would be invited to make field trips out to see us so they could be educated about the office environment. During these trips a blacksmith’s stall will be set up just so we can compete with those colonial theme parks.
Secondly, I would launch a real internet business. TalkOverMovies.com would require more than a million dollars, but so would the other thing. People would come to this website, they would log in, pick from a list of popular movies, enter a chat room where a stream of said movie is in progress or about to start, and talk via microphone to other people in the same chat room. That would be the goal and purpose of TalkOverMovies.com No one likes people who talk during a movie in the theater, but at home its great, its what you expect to do. But you can’t always do that because some of us are reclusive internet freaks and have no friends to watch a real movie with. TalkOverMovies.com would fill these peoples lives with sarcastic remarks and other nattering about movies.
Thirdly… the third one is a secret. Secret thing to do with a million dollars. I would probably even have some money left over though.
These are my faux interesting, and probably disingenuous explanations of what I would do with a million dollars.
