Internet?

Apr. 4th, 2014 02:10 pm
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
Why the hell am I getting e-mail from the Ayn Rand Institute?
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
A side effect of this hidradenitis under my arm and the pain it causes me when I move my right arm too far out of a very limited range is that it is extremely difficult to masturbate without pain that makes it not worth it. I can do a lot of things with my left hand, but there seems to be some vital coordination that it just lacks for this purpose.
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
Today the grey and black coating of the lunar caustic washed off in the shower. Beneath it the wound looks... just the same. And feels just the same. So. Maybe it did something and maybe not?

Cauterized

Mar. 18th, 2014 05:47 pm
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
Further evidence that my surgeon is a sadist: Upon inspecting the wound I have where he preformed surgery on me, he determined that the best course of action was cauterization. He used silver nitrate and no anesthetic of any kind. I should make my next appointment for a checkup with him contingent on getting some drugs from him.
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
Who know it was within their mission to serve up randomly suggested vintage French pornography. The titular "Schoolgirl Hitchhikers" didn't do any of either thing for which they were named. I stopped watching after I was well sure it was just some sort of very boring softcore pornography, but Netflix had predicted I'd give it three stars. I must give that rating too easily.
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
For a good week or so it looked like that hole under my arm had healed right up and things were going to be fine. Then the area began swelling up. In just a few days it reached ridiculous proportions, and last night it ruptured and drained. Now the area looks smooth and un-swollen, but guess what's back? The little hole interrupting the surgery scar. Great. I have an appointment with the surgeon on Tuesday. Last time he saw my under-arm area the hole-area looked like it had inverted and was a fresh new skin-tab. I wonder if it will do that again.
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
the eldest of them are in their 30s now

There it is, the first official confirmation I've had that I'm officially on the books as a Millennial. It's been a long time coming. I've spent most of my life presuming I'm some sort of super-late Xer. Now, though, conservative pundits are complaining about my lack of cooperation, and I feel strangely gratified.
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
With the ever improving accuracy of recomendation systems like on Amazon, Google, Netflix, Pandora, and other websites that use your past consuming habits to make a profile of you and recommend things you may also like, I wonder if by the time the self driving car becomes a real consumer reality, it doesn't take you where you want to go instead it takes you to where you need to be. The whole nation would just be in some kind of walking the earth kung-fu lifestyle, being delivered to some local by their self driving cars, fixing some problem that the locals had, and getting back in, hoping each time that the next ride would be the ride home.
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
Hitler's Dictates make us small,
we're yet bound in chains.
But one day we'll again walk tall,
no chains can us restrain.
For hard are our fists,
Yes! And knives at our wrists,
for youth to be free,
Navajos lay seige.
--from Wikipedia

I wonder if it's telling that in my years in the Boy Scouts our education on the history of the organization repeatedly referenced the Hitler Youth (in as much as the Boy Scouts were created as a counter to that sort of idea) but I had to learn about the Edelweiss Pirates from hidden fluff audio logs in a video game.

The idea of a group of dropout punks dedicated to camping and bullying the official state youth organization sounds very romantic and I wonder why there hasn't been much fiction about these groups. It's also sort of charming that as history sees them, the group who names their hooliganism after the Navajos are the less racist side. Though I suppose righteous havoc inspiring righteous havoc is something a certain kind of person could be proud of.
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
Yesterday an important step forward was taken in ensuring religious freedom in my state. It's not law yet, but good god, get me out of here.
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
Last night I woke up having a panic attack. In my memory this is the first time that has ever happened. It was a strange experience. I was having a nightmare about being stalked by some monster, and woke up with a sudden startle, to a noise that could have come from the real world or not, I don't know, but my not-all-there brain interpreted it as the monster. I was already hyperventilating, I imagine that started while I was asleep. I hope this doesn't happen often in the future. The whole reason I live my horrible life is to avoid panic attacks.
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
In college I memorized a soliloquy, to recite, from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar in which Mark Anthony refers to Caesar's wounds as mouths with ruby lips which are trying to speak. I thought it was a pretty lurid mental image, but not particularly accurate to the image of knife wounds.

A few days ago the scar from my recent surgery opened up. I guess the stitches came out too soon. The wound is under my right arm, its a fairly mobile area I should have known it would happen. Anyway, the result is not a bloody mess, its a deep roughly circular hole, just a well in my skin with a dark red clot at the bottom, and the whole thing articulates and changes shape when I move my arm. It's disgusting and reminds me of Mark Anthony's metaphor.

Also, because my brain hates me I've already had a nightmare where an orb weaver spider takes up residence in the wound.

Pain

Jan. 11th, 2014 03:42 am
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
I don't know my surgeon is a sadist because of how he leaned into my determinedly diverted field of view to show me the needle before giving me the local anesthetic, or because he invited a cute nurse in to view me shirtless hairy and with holiday weight in order to demonstrate suturing techniques, or because his lecture contained information on which style of suturing would heal most neatly in my case and then proceeded to give me some of a different style, just to show it off. I know he's a sadist because he didn't prescribe me any pain medication.

It was only about a one inch by half inch patch of skin removed, but there's a lot of nerve-ending rich perimeter around that missing patch!
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
My thanks to the Jezebel blog for this perfect conservative reading of the first amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of ducks, or prohibiting dynasties thereof; or abridging the freedom of white guys with beards to NEVER BE FIRED, or of stroking the martyr complex of racists; or the right of cable networks peaceably to cave to bigotry, and to petition the people for hella hella more duck money because $$$$$. #benghazi
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
Sorry for the chemical castration precipitating your suicide, citizen!
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
Youtube's Content ID system has my vote for the first program likely to become a self aware superhuman intelligence.
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
This article's objection to the blogosphere's coverage of a projected Sriracha shortage is a pretty great example to support my skepticism of TED-talk-esq optimism about the utopian potential of information technology. Left coast technocrats seem to act like class doesn't matter in their vision of the future, but it isn't going anywhere.
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
A palm frond has grown in front of the satellite dish. Now all TV is Max Headroom. I would cut it, but wasps have blockaded the area.
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
I suspect that family tension around feast holidays led people with anxiety disorders like myself to schism off and celebrate fasting holidays instead.
ff00ff: (Dissaprove)
George Zimmerman will fight and beat charges of domestic abuse with the help of a legal team paid for by men's right's activists; will become the 2016 Republican nominee for president.
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